Our historically common problem with politicians becoming involved in sex scandals seems to be getting out of hand. The values of our modern times have brought these scandals out into the open. In past eras, politicians were given a wink and a pass by the press for their extra marital affairs and affiliations. In today's world of "anything goes" and where everything is relative, the newspapers must publish, the radio stations must report and the television networks must air these activities in order to keep the ever shortening attention spans of the masses focused. Smut has always sold but these days it is all that sells.

Frankly I don't understand why we can't seem to find male candidates for public office who love their wives and are committed to their marriage vows. Has the institution of marriage become so disposable that the leaders of this country don't even have the decency of divorcing the first spouse before jumping into bed with whoever wanders by? I see a lot of these guys on television and have to wonder what the attraction is. I am every bit as overweight and ugly as they are and I can barely manage to get my wife to sleep with me let alone "20 something" interns.

Thinking it through I believe I may have a solution to all this intern nonsense. I can't imagine that after the Monica Lewinsky episode that people would still be willing to pack up their sons and daughters and send them off to Washington to service…I mean to serve the government. What must be going through their tiny little minds? With the disappearance of Chandra Levy, the lure of being an intern should diminish. This disappearance just happened to coincide with the disappearance of CBS News' investigative journalists. Dan Rather didn't think an intern vanishing in Washington worthy of reporting because she wasn't having her affair with a Republican. Democrats are supposed to be sleazy so their peccadilloes aren't news.

I think we can all agree that we have reached an impasse which requires a new kind of thinking, a new approach. A new paradigm in Washington. Now for those of you who actually still get their news from Dan Rather, maybe I should explain this. It seems that a young intern has disappeared off the face of the earth and before she did, she was involved in a sexual relationship with a Congressman who was also having an affair with a flight attendant and possibly an 18 year old girl from his district. The young woman, Ms. Levy, missing since May, vanished without a trace and the good Congressman denied having the affair and isn't talking to the press. He also offered a reward of $10,000 to help find her. He made the offer before her disappearance had been reported to police. He has now confessed to the affair, allowed his apartment to be searched, passed a privately administered polygraph examination, and has submitted a DNA sample. Now you are up to date.

I originally got this idea from Barney Frank, a Democrat Congressman whose buddy was using Congressional Pages to operate a male prostitution ring out of the Congressman's home….without his knowledge….while he lived there…..with the Congressman. Anyway, the latest flap over the ethically and morally challenged Democrat Congressman from California, Gary Condit, plus the media excused behavior of our last Democrat President demands we change the credentials and requirements for becoming either a Page or Intern. We should hire hookers to fill these positions.

Washington DC is full of prostitutes both figurative and actual. These particular jobs will pair the actual with the figurative and it will save the taxpayers money. Now I'm not talking about high priced call girls. I am talking about street hookers. The kind of hookers currently on the government dole. The kind that the Washington police have to take time out from their busy schedule of not finding missing people or solving homicides to arrest. We will keep them on the government payroll but they will have to earn their keep.

Wait! I know what you're thinking. You don't really have to say it. "Why didn't I think of this before?" It's perfect! Think about it. If the Interns are hookers we eliminate the victim, we create a monetary consequence for the politician, and we get the prostitutes into higher paying government jobs with benefits. We protect the sons and daughters of political contributors, we lessen the burden on the DC police, and we free up the press to report on the drug habits of Hollywood stars. If the hookers/interns happen to be HIV positive? Even better. Instant term limits.